When you all walk down the dusty halls of this thing called “life” do you cradle the seed of a great deity in your arms? Few do. The football is not a ball, you can’t bounce it or throw it normally. Nor is it something that you really ever touch with your foot. The seed-like oblong […]Read more "Life is like Football… and Life Sucks! The Dr. Loser NFL Super Bowl Review"
Protracted De-Media™ is proud to present the official 100th Dr. Loser blog post. We are also proud to say that in the past couple of months, since purchasing this blog from that real loser who started this website, we have been able to publish at least 3 new posts a week and have developed award-winning […]Read more "Keeping it 100"
Like the great Steve Jobs, I have “one more thing” to add to my week of escalating current event blog posts as part of my How to NOT Write Like a Loser: Exercise #4 – Write Everyday plan. After completing four posts today, this will be my fifth and official end to the week-long writing task that had […]Read more "And one more thing…"
Fate dictates that the proudly fat-assed, Australian hip-hopping white girl Iggy Azalea will take home the coveted-by-no-one Best Rap Album trophy at the upcoming Grammy Awards. The nominations were announced earlier today and it’s created quite the stir in the rap community. Okay, maybe not the rap community, but like whatever you call the people […]Read more "Iggy Azalea Nomi-Fated for Best Rap Album Grammy Award"
Anybody want to worship a Norse god with me? I mean, Christmas is coming… you know, the time where we all celebrate the totally realistic concept of a god being born on earth as a super-powered human. This was all thanks to an omniscient entity magically fertilising a young virgin with the help of a […]Read more "Merry Odin-Mas"
Double ugh… don’t tell me the Cleveland Cavaliers are really turning it around and becoming a good team. Or even a great team… a championship team? What… huh? Say it isn’t so. I don’t even believe that the people of Cleveland even truly want this to happen. There is no way that quick embrace of […]Read more "LeBron James and the What, Huh?"
This just in… hey NASA, no one cares! Are we ever going to live in outer space? Is this really going to be a possibility in our lifetimes? It’s not… right? What a waste of time you are NASA. Call me dumb all you want, but NASA is doing nothing worthwhile by continuing to apparently explore […]Read more "Newsflash: NASA Sends a New Shuttle into Space"
Struggling to put my thoughts into words about the recent podcasts by CM Punk that revealed his reasons for mysteriously leaving the WWE earlier this year, I decided to try to come up with at least a good title for the article, but even that isn’t working out well. Here’s what I started out with: […]Read more "How Many Titles Can I Think Up For This Post About CM Punk?"
At the moment, NBC is airing a totally live musical version of Peter Pan, and man is it horrible. I’m not a fan of musicals, kids, or adults playing kids in musicals, so I guess I’m not the target audience for this show (which must be what, like child molesting high school teachers then?), however […]Read more "Live Blogging – Peter Pan Live"
Hate on Justin Bieber all you want, but this guy’s resume of celebrity hottie hook-ups is starting to put him on an untouchable pedestal. Along with new rumours of him and Hailey Baldwin, there is also his famous relationship with Selena Gomez, and more potentially with Miranda Kerr, Kendall Jenner and Rhianna. Of course, these might […]Read more "Bieber Bangs Baldwin?! Chisel This Guy’s Face on Mount Rushmore!"
Last week there was a new Star Wars teaser trailer, then there was a teaser for the trailer of the new Terminator movie, and now there is a big announcement just for the title of the next James Bond movie. What are we talking about here? These aren’t movies, they’re magic tricks. Hey, look over […]Read more "The New James Bond Movie has a Title… Whoopee!"
Ferguson, Missouri is certainly no Club Med… at least, not from what I can tell as I guy who’s never been to either place. As the U.S. is rocked by another death of a black man at the hands of a white cop, we’ve got to wonder if ‘hands up’ is really the right gesture […]Read more "Hands Up, Baby Hands Up"
If there was ever a time for a sequel to Bill Cosby’s classic movie Leonard Part 6, it would be now! This guy is hotter than he’s been since The Cosby Show was the #1 TV show in America. And why – date rape allegations. And I stress the word allegations. There has never been […]Read more "Bill Cosby in Leonard Part 12"
No way did North Korea hack Sony’s websites over the upcoming movie The Interview about a buffoon-ish attempt to assassinate “president” Kim Jong Un. I believe Sony in fact hacked North Korea and then piggy-backed on their system to then re-hack themselves to make it look like North Korea hacked them in an elaborate scheme […]Read more "Did North Korea Really Hack Sony Over The Interview?"
Earlier today it was announced that the UFC signed a deal with Reebok to outfit all of their fighters in official sports gear starting next year. Now this is a great moment for the UFC. If you’ve ever seen any UFC event, then one of the first things you must have noticed is these atrocious […]Read more "That New UFC Uniform Policy – brought to you by Dynamic Fastener"
Let it be said by me now that no man should strike a woman, no man should strike a child, no man should strike a man. Hell, no one should hit anyone EVER outside of action movies, professional wrestling, and combat sports (and I’m not including hockey, those fights make no sense). These are thus […]Read more "How about that Ray Rice?"
What is it with Cyber Monday? Wouldn’t it make more sense to it to be Cyber Sunday? At least for the alliteration. Stores are all open on Sunday nowadays, so why wait until Monday? But if it has to be on Monday (for whatever reason) then why not Money Monday or More-off Monday, just for […]Read more "What’s the deal with Cyber Monday?"
Ugh.. who wants to write everyday? What a drag. Once you’re writing all the time as if it’s your regular job you might as well just be another office monkey. Creepy, boring, mindless… you know what I’m talking about, and we don’t want our writing to be like that! But if you don’t want to write […]Read more "How to NOT Write Like a Loser: Exercise #4 – Write Everyday"
A sure fire way to be a loser is to have a totally lame opinion. In my original blog post on the qualities that make me write like a loser, I explained that my opinions are always too extreme – everything is either the greatest thing ever or the complete worst thing in history. This makes for boring […]Read more "How to NOT Write Like a Loser: Exercise #3 – Have a Good Opinion"
Nobody wants to write like a loser – not even me, Dr. Loser! We all hope to write quickly, precisely, powerfully, prolifically and profound, not this wimpy, patient, confusing, mundane drivel that brings us nothing but headaches and heartbreak. I’ve arrogantly made it my goal to blow out the back of common writing process problems […]Read more "How to NOT Write Like a Loser: Exercise #2 – Follow the Rules"