Ugh, the Academy Awards are on tonight… prepare yourself to be bored out of your fucking mind, that is, if you have the gall to even watch that crap. That’s right, apparently you’re a racist now if you choose to support the Oscars, and I’m glad that the girl from Woo and the guy who directed […]Read more "Why Would I Watch This Crap? – The Academy Awards"
When you all walk down the dusty halls of this thing called “life” do you cradle the seed of a great deity in your arms? Few do. The football is not a ball, you can’t bounce it or throw it normally. Nor is it something that you really ever touch with your foot. The seed-like oblong […]Read more "Life is like Football… and Life Sucks! The Dr. Loser NFL Super Bowl Review"
Deadpool is the Harry Connick Jr. of super-hero comic book characters. That’s right, I said it. Here’s the truth about the super-hero comics that everyone is afraid to discuss: that shit is old fashioned. The time when mainstream super-hero comic books were new and interesting was in the 50s and 60s, dude! In the 1900s! Marvel […]Read more "Why Would I Watch This Crap? – Deadpool"
The Denver Broncos will lose the Super Bowl this weekend. Why? I don’t know. Actually, let me take that back… the Carolina Panthers will lose the Super Bowl. Whatever. Does it really matter? On one side you’ve got Denver with their super defence on the other side you’ve got Carolina with their super offence. That’s […]Read more "Who Will Lose the Super-BORE? The Dr. Loser NFL Big Game Preview"
I know what you’re thinking, “Cool, let’s all pile on Michael Bay! That asshole makes the shittiest movies!” But hold up–before you start to think we’re all friends here in Bay-hate, I think you’ve come to the wrong place. The reason I don’t want to watch this 13 Hours crap is because it’s too pedestrian […]Read more "Why Would I Watch This Crap? – 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi"
Life isn’t fair. What illustrates this better than the ebbs and flows of the NFL season? To go from exhilarating streaks of precision teamwork to slumps of random discombobulation. From being a heralded new national star one week to a schlub on the bench the next. From unbeatable champion to an old man just holding on […]Read more "Life Isn’t Fair – NFL Wild Card Weekend – The Loser Review"
Was there anything worse back when you were a kid than when you pulled out the thick, fold-out comic strip section of the weekend newspaper and saw Peanuts staring at you on the front page? What a downer. No one liked Peanuts. It was that comic strip your parents told you was good and you […]Read more "Why Would I Watch This Crap? – The Peanuts Movie"
Protracted De-Media™ is proud to present the official 100th Dr. Loser blog post. We are also proud to say that in the past couple of months, since purchasing this blog from that real loser who started this website, we have been able to publish at least 3 new posts a week and have developed award-winning […]Read more "Keeping it 100"
Like the great Steve Jobs, I have “one more thing” to add to my week of escalating current event blog posts as part of my How to NOT Write Like a Loser: Exercise #4 – Write Everyday plan. After completing four posts today, this will be my fifth and official end to the week-long writing task that had […]Read more "And one more thing…"
Fate dictates that the proudly fat-assed, Australian hip-hopping white girl Iggy Azalea will take home the coveted-by-no-one Best Rap Album trophy at the upcoming Grammy Awards. The nominations were announced earlier today and it’s created quite the stir in the rap community. Okay, maybe not the rap community, but like whatever you call the people […]Read more "Iggy Azalea Nomi-Fated for Best Rap Album Grammy Award"
Anybody want to worship a Norse god with me? I mean, Christmas is coming… you know, the time where we all celebrate the totally realistic concept of a god being born on earth as a super-powered human. This was all thanks to an omniscient entity magically fertilising a young virgin with the help of a […]Read more "Merry Odin-Mas"
This just in… hey NASA, no one cares! Are we ever going to live in outer space? Is this really going to be a possibility in our lifetimes? It’s not… right? What a waste of time you are NASA. Call me dumb all you want, but NASA is doing nothing worthwhile by continuing to apparently explore […]Read more "Newsflash: NASA Sends a New Shuttle into Space"
Struggling to put my thoughts into words about the recent podcasts by CM Punk that revealed his reasons for mysteriously leaving the WWE earlier this year, I decided to try to come up with at least a good title for the article, but even that isn’t working out well. Here’s what I started out with: […]Read more "How Many Titles Can I Think Up For This Post About CM Punk?"
At the moment, NBC is airing a totally live musical version of Peter Pan, and man is it horrible. I’m not a fan of musicals, kids, or adults playing kids in musicals, so I guess I’m not the target audience for this show (which must be what, like child molesting high school teachers then?), however […]Read more "Live Blogging – Peter Pan Live"
Hate on Justin Bieber all you want, but this guy’s resume of celebrity hottie hook-ups is starting to put him on an untouchable pedestal. Along with new rumours of him and Hailey Baldwin, there is also his famous relationship with Selena Gomez, and more potentially with Miranda Kerr, Kendall Jenner and Rhianna. Of course, these might […]Read more "Bieber Bangs Baldwin?! Chisel This Guy’s Face on Mount Rushmore!"
Last week there was a new Star Wars teaser trailer, then there was a teaser for the trailer of the new Terminator movie, and now there is a big announcement just for the title of the next James Bond movie. What are we talking about here? These aren’t movies, they’re magic tricks. Hey, look over […]Read more "The New James Bond Movie has a Title… Whoopee!"
Ferguson, Missouri is certainly no Club Med… at least, not from what I can tell as I guy who’s never been to either place. As the U.S. is rocked by another death of a black man at the hands of a white cop, we’ve got to wonder if ‘hands up’ is really the right gesture […]Read more "Hands Up, Baby Hands Up"
If there was ever a time for a sequel to Bill Cosby’s classic movie Leonard Part 6, it would be now! This guy is hotter than he’s been since The Cosby Show was the #1 TV show in America. And why – date rape allegations. And I stress the word allegations. There has never been […]Read more "Bill Cosby in Leonard Part 12"
No way did North Korea hack Sony’s websites over the upcoming movie The Interview about a buffoon-ish attempt to assassinate “president” Kim Jong Un. I believe Sony in fact hacked North Korea and then piggy-backed on their system to then re-hack themselves to make it look like North Korea hacked them in an elaborate scheme […]Read more "Did North Korea Really Hack Sony Over The Interview?"
Earlier today it was announced that the UFC signed a deal with Reebok to outfit all of their fighters in official sports gear starting next year. Now this is a great moment for the UFC. If you’ve ever seen any UFC event, then one of the first things you must have noticed is these atrocious […]Read more "That New UFC Uniform Policy – brought to you by Dynamic Fastener"