This week we take a look at two guys who wouldn’t give a fuck what we had to say about them, and that’s the way we like it!
Most of the music videos we’ve reviewed here in Dr. Loser’s This or That have been from artists trying to get millions of views with crowd-pleasing pop hits and fun-filled scenes. That’s not the only kind of videos being produced apparently, as David Bowie and Kendrick Lamar seem to almost want to repel audiences with their newly released extended music clips that are as artistically surreal as the songs themselves are impenetrable to fans of someone like Justin Bieber, One Direction or Drake.
But exactly which one of them is THIS? And who is just THAT loser? Let’s find out!
David Bowie, who died just days after releasing this video for ‘Lazarus’, was supposedly aware of the timing and no doubt didn’t seem to care about mixing these creepy, horror movie-like death bed images with any kind of maudlin memory his fans might want to try and remember him by.
And good. This video makes that Johnny Cash video for ‘Hurt’ now look as cheesy as the Green Day ‘Time of Your Life’ montage on the final episode of Seinfeld.
Trying to figure out the literal story in this video would be as silly as thinking you know what’s going on in a David Lynch movie like Inland Empire, or David Bowie’s own bizarre scene in Lynch’s Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me:
As uncomfortable as it is to watch the floating, blind folded, button-eyed Bowie writhe in a hospital bed with weird ghost demon nurses hiding around him, the highlight has got to see marionette Bowie in a body suit, all mimingly robotic and seemingly writing out a goodbye note before he disappears hauntingly backward into a closet.
If the guy knew he was going down soon when filming this scene, then he certainly left behind an image fitting of his gangling weird-o persona that’s got to be as funny as it is serious and certainly doesn’t give a fuck!
On the other hand, it’s hard to believe that Kendrick Lamar isn’t at least courting some kind of accolades with his performance in this video for ‘God is a Gangsta’:
Kendrick does a little too much “acting” in the first half for me; it’s like being at a community centre dramatic monologue workshop but probably shouldn’t be too surprising considering the guy’s albums seem to involve him “playing” different characters a lot in his songs.
And is it necessary to be staring directly into the camera the whole time, thus looking right at me / us – it’s annoying. It almost makes me feel like I need to pay better attention to what he’s saying. Dude, if I won’t make eye contact with a real person talking to me than I ain’t look up from my phone to see your whiny face unless there’s some kind of explosion in the background.
But then he makes up for all this by switching scenes to a strip club in the second half. I mean, it’s still like an French New Wave version of a strip club, but it’s got some nudity nonetheless, and that’s something every guy is gonna need to give their full attention to, am I right?
Only then he starts flashing in some irritating They Live-like subliminal messages into the video, which are impossible to read without having to stop the video in order to try and catch what those things are saying? Trust me, at this point he doesn’t want me stopping the video cause it’s unlikely I’m gonna start it again.
So who’s got THIS?
Like I said, Lamar is putting too much effort into his “acting” to not at least want someone to pat him on the back for his off-Broadway chops, which ultimately looks lame compared to the better performance put on by Bowie, who seemed to know he wouldn’t be around after it came out, so then you gotta think he’s not trying hard to be cool, and thus that’s cool–obviously.
However, are we really buying this whole Notorious B.I.G.-like attempt to cash in on a “death” album? C’mon, it’s so transparent, and we all know the two of them are hanging in the pop star Village, like in The Prisoner, but filled with guys like Kurt Cobain, John Lennon and Aaliyah, all sitting on those fat stacks of posthumous music royalties while playing croquet and sipping from $800 bottles of wine.
But okay, I’ll play along, and assuming Bowie really did die then that’s pretty extreme compared to Lamar who is constantly talking about dying in his music but is too afraid, I guess, to take it all the way. Pussy.
So this week, it looks pretty clear cut who THIS is and so, in honour of —
Hold on a second, what am I thinking?!
That Kendrick Lamar video had boobs!
Nipples and everything!
Uhm… hey, Bowie, we loved you, but c’mon, even you would agree that we’ve got to put bare boobs above everything! The man was a poon-hound, he’d have understood.
So Kendrick Lamar, it looks like you’re taking THIS one at the buzzer.
And sadly, David Bowie, by default that means it seems as though this week you’re just THAT loser!