NFL Week 2 – The Loser Review

Week 2 of the 2015-16 NFL season is in the books are there are a ton of losers out there who need to be signalled out and laughed at!

Let’s start with the most obvious: The Emmy Awards

Great decision by Fox to put the Emmys up against Sunday Night Football! This savvy move resulted in the lowest ratings for the show in the modern era. 

I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised that America’s most irrelevant awards show (not to be confused with The Golden Globes – America’s most corrupt awards show) that celebrates entertainment without being remotely entertaining, could get dominated in the ratings by actual entertainment.  

Too bad though, because that means a lot of people missed Hannibal receiving the award for Best TV drama… oh right, that didn’t happen because the best network TV show in 20 years didn’t even get nominated.

Hey Emmys… you’re losers!

Speaking of losers on Sunday… how about those Seattle Seahawks

That final play at the end of the Superbowl this year is going to go down in history as a decision almost as dumb as Frasier beating Seinfeld for the Best Comedy TV Series Emmy 5 years straight  (okay, nothing is going to be that dumb)… and now they haven’t won a game yet this season.

After that Superbowl flub they probably deserve to lose every game this season, am I right?

malcolm-butler-intercepts-russell-wilson-super-bowl

Hey Seahawks… you’re losers!

Let’s move on to the team with the most acute sense of touch in the NFL… the Indianapolis Colts

Andrew Luck and his crybaby Colts tried oh so hard to find some kind of excuse for their thrashing by the Patriots in the AFC Conference finals at the end of last season and figured, well, it must be because the balls are a minuscule amount lighter. Amazingly, now they can’t seem to win a game just like those dopey Seahawks.

I wonder what the reason why the lame-ass Jets dominated the Colts last night then? Did they have too many cleats on their shoes? Maybe the green on their helmets was a shade over the league limit for colour? Oh, I know, they played instead of cried. Boo-hoo!

Hey Colts… you’re losers!

And now, Peyton Manning

Wait… he actually pulled that game out last Thursday?? Still, I just want to remind myself that this stat-hoarder only ever won one championship while his half-awake screw-ball brother Eli has stumbled into two.

Hey Peyton… okay, you won this week, but you’re still a loser!

peyton
Yes, that’s a snapped ball bouncing off his head!

Speaking of Peyton Manning, how about his greatest rival, Mr. Tom Brady?

…no! Not Brady… cram, shove, box, slam…

Okay, fine. Drafted 199, threw for 466 yards at 38, two games after he won his 4th Superbowl and then defeated his own bosses in court.

Tom Brady, we have no room for you here… you’re definitely a winner!

brady meat

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