Newsflash: NASA Sends a New Shuttle into Space

This just in… hey NASA, no one cares!

Are we ever going to live in outer space? Is this really going to be a possibility in our lifetimes? It’s not… right? What a waste of time you are NASA.

Call me dumb all you want, but NASA is doing nothing worthwhile by continuing to apparently explore space by launching super cool cameras and antennas into oblivion. If they were sending up ships to shoot lasers at enemy flying saucers, well that would be another story, but if they just want to take pictures, analyse more data and pollute the universe with time capsules filled with a bunch of stupid letters from elementary school kids, well… fuck ‘em!

Maybe those old dopey explorers cared about finding new stuff when they sailed boats off of cliffs, but they had nothing else to do really, whereas today we’ve got mountains cool stuff to occupy our time. As shit as that movie Interstellar was, it has got to be one million times more interesting than whatever the real NASA is going to provide us in the next 50 years.

And let’s be serious, does anyone reading this really care about what’s going to happen 50 years from now? An average guy like me is so selfish that I could care less about the poor people living 50 meters from where I live, so certainly I’m not going to be remotely concerned with the historical implications a probe in 2014 might be for future generations planting a seed on Mars in 3014.

Give me something now NASA, like at least crash something or put a chimp in one of these things.

2 thoughts on “Newsflash: NASA Sends a New Shuttle into Space

  1. NASA should be run like a reality TV show in space. Think Real World on the ISS. Then we need to Willy Wonka this thing–tie in some commercial endorsements and hide golden tickets in whichever unrelated product pays the most to be a part of the deal. Winner joins the cast up in orbit. That will get people interested.

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