LeBron James and the What, Huh?

Double ugh… don’t tell me the Cleveland Cavaliers are really turning it around and becoming a good team. Or even a great team… a championship team? What… huh? Say it isn’t so.

I don’t even believe that the people of Cleveland even truly want this to happen. There is no way that quick embrace of LeBron’s return after he screwed them over so hardcore all those years ago is legit. I figured it was all part of a bigger scheme to lull LeBron into coming back and then getting their revenge after he fails spectacularly in a couple of years so they can all sing him off with an epic chorus of the “Na-Na-NaNa” song.

There is no such thing as a LeBron James fan at this point, right? Is anyone running around in James jerseys? Are kids talking about how cool he is on suburban street courts? The guy cramped up in a key playoff game because there was no air conditioning in the building, there is no coming back from that I figured.

LeBron seems to be the most gifted NBA player to ever fall backwards into “best player ever” success, and now it looks like he’s starting to slip on yet another golden banana peel. This annoys me because traditionally I feel compelled to watch and follow the best players/teams in the game, legendary dudes like Patriot Tom Brady, North Carolinian Michael Jordan and Iranian Andre Agassi, but this big goof makes it hard to enjoy what he’s doing when he seems like the sporting equivalent of Inspector Gadget.

And while I’m at it, what’s the deal with the name ‘LeBron‘ anyways? Why is there a capital B in the middle? Is it french for “the brown”, which seems kind of racist to me, until you flip it like his name is on the attendance form at public school and you see ‘James Brown‘.

Therefore, if LeBron is really the reincarnation of James Brown then that means the new Bruno Mars video, that is really a video for white producer Mark Ronson, is trying to tell us that climate change is a hoax perpetrated on us all by Ray Romano. Exactly.

One thought on “LeBron James and the What, Huh?

  1. Here in Akron, there are plenty of fans. Plenty of kids in Lebron James jerseys. We know he was a jerk for leaving, but there’s not a lot to get excited about around here when it comes to sports.
    I agree with you…but around here, he’s still a symbol of success. My daughter is in his Wheels for Education program and he does try hard to represent what “a kid from Akron” can do if they work hard. So while we’re still a little miffed that he left, we’re kind of glad he’s back:)

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