The New James Bond Movie has a Title… Whoopee!

Last week there was a new Star Wars teaser trailer, then there was a teaser for the trailer of the new Terminator movie, and now there is a big announcement just for the title of the next James Bond movie. What are we talking about here? These aren’t movies, they’re magic tricks. Hey, look over here at all these bright lights, while we’re over here laying a fucking egg.

I just watched the movie Birdman this week, possibly the best movie I saw all year, and that includes the ultra-hyped Captain America, Transformers and Guardians of the Galaxy movies that were all fantastic yet promoted out the ass before their release. When I went into Birdman I had a basic idea of what it might be about, but really went in completely unprepared for the mind-blowing that was to come. Sure, it’s a smaller budget movie, but maybe this is something these big studios could start to shift towards in some way.

Star Wars, James Bond, the Avengers – none of these movies need trailers at all, or even posters or sub-titles. If they just said, “Star Wars” in the trailer, white letters on a black background, then they’re going to get the same amount of people to show up on opening elaborate trailer or not.

The problem is, most of these movies absolutely suck! It’s easy for these studios to shove going to these movies as an event on us all to trick us into going right away… as in, before the reviews or bad word of mouth sets in. If these new Star Wars or James Bond movies are actually incredible to watch (doubtful) then the built in loyalty is enough to promote the thing after it’s released.

These studios aren’t that confident in the actual content though, and why should they be? In fact, since they already cram most of the good parts into the trailers now anyways, maybe a movie like Spectre (the new James Bond) should end up just being a 90 second montage of clips? Then they could just give us dozens of James Bond movies in one calendar year, each one with a fancy new title, complete with press conference and parade. Whoopee!

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