Hands Up, Baby Hands Up

Ferguson, Missouri is certainly no Club Med… at least, not from what I can tell as I guy who’s never been to either place.

As the U.S. is rocked by another death of a black man at the hands of a white cop, we’ve got to wonder if ‘hands up’ is really the right gesture to use for surrender in 2014.

Ottawan had the 80s singing “Hands Up”, then Luke had us all ‘raisin’ the roof’ in the 90s, and let’s not forget YMCA, Hip-Hop Hooray, or even Gangnam Style, for musical calls to wave our arms in the air with reckless abandon. I don’t know about you, but when I hear someone yell “put your hands up” I’m thinking “alright, let’s get this party started!”

Wouldn’t it make more sense then to go “hands down” when a police officer is pointing a gun at someone? And I’m talking all the way down… to the ground! If your palms are on the ground you definitely can’t reach for that piece of licorice in your pocket that might be mistaken for a gun, or attempt to reach out and grapple with that cop as most of our natural instincts tend to push us.

Maybe this is all part of our natural evolution towards walking on all fours, or even just on our hands! Are you telling me we’re meant to walk upright like this for the rest of time? That doesn’t make any sense according to Darwin, am I wrong, don’t we have to keep on changing?

So if we’ve got to break a few eggs to get to the next stage in our pedestrian development then so be it… I mean, black, white, brown, red, yellow, in a few years we’re all just going to be one race of purply beige anyways, but it’s about time someone asked the tough questions about what all this alleged police brutality has to do with our cherished dance moves? If I have to be the one to fall on that sword then so be it, I’ll do so proudly… with my hands down!

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