How to Determine the Best Album Ever

Using a very complex new kind of artistic math, I have recently discovered the best way to find rank the greatest albums of all time. After listening to hundreds of my personal favourites and experimenting with these new equations, I stumbled on the basic three patterns found among all musical albums. I have labelled these as Starting Strong, Sandwiching and Building Up. And without a doubt in my mind I am now ready to declare that the best albums must come from the Building Up category.

Starting Strong – these are the top heavy albums, usually found in your basic pop music collection where the big hit comes during the first 3 songs. The rest is just meaningless filler. Some of the greatest songs of all time may be on albums like this, but nothing in the Starting Strong category could possibly qualify for any ‘best of‘ list because an album should mathematically be as good collectively as it’s best song is individually.

Sandwiching – the majority of albums fall under this category. They basically have a great opening song and a great ending song with possibly good songs sprinkled throughout. Much like the variety of actual sandwiches, there are numerous variations on how songs combine to create a Sandwiching album. And while this strategy can often produce amazing collections, this is not the truest or most scientific extension of how an album should be packaged.

Building Up – this is the gold standard, an album that starts out good and builds upwards with better and better songs until ending with the best song on the album

During my recent quest to rank my 30 Favourite Albums of All Time, I realised that this new distinction would force me to throw away all my pre-conceived notions of how the list should look; current favourites, sentimental choices, critical classics, all now needed to stand up to the climactic math of the Building Up curve. The good news was that I could now plug all these albums into this equation, and although difficult, will be able to fairly rank the music in my life once and for all. 

Now, what I’ve gone through so far is extremely technical and I won’t bore anyone with the formulas I had to concoct in order to arrive at the list that is presented below. I can summarise that specific points are assigned to the chronology of songs on the strongest of albums, and if the songs progress in quality then the points for those songs will increase, topping out at a maximum score of 1,000. An album with this perfect score has yet to be found, so my search continues for the ultimate album that can sustain this true critical upward trajectory.

So far these are the Top 10 greatest Building Up albums of all time, as scientifically determined by the Dr. Loser album-metrics.


Artist – Album Title

Final Song

Building Up Score


Pink Floyd – Meddle




Erykah Badu – Worldwide Underground

“Love of My Life

(An Ode to Hip Hop)”



Led Zeppelin – IV

“When the Levee Breaks”



A Tribe Called Quest – Beats, Rhymes & Life

“Stressed Out”



Funkadelic – Maggot Brain

“Wars of Armageddon”



Beck – The Information

“Inside Out”



R Kelly –

“The Storm is Over”



The Who – Quadrophenia

“Love, Reign O’er Me”



Lynyrd Skynyrd – Pronounced leh-nerd skin-nerd




Mos Def – True Magic



My number 1 spot may seem a bit unorthodox, and most wouldn’t put Mos (Yasiin Bey) Def even in the same category with many of these artists, let alone his critically despised 3rd album, however it is the closest I’ve found to a perfect build up where each song gets mathematically better leading up to, not only what is in my opinion his best song, but also one of the most profound songs ever produced. Check it out.

There can be no real debate on this issue, you’ll just have to trust me that the science behind this decision is correct, and thus I have turned off the comments on this post.